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I dont think disappointment even begins to explain this.

People say when one door closes, another opens. For the last one and a half months, I’ve came to fully understand the beauty of that saying. However, no one tells you that the open door will then slam shut in your face and leave you with bruises all over.

Over the last few years, Ive come to be very familiar with constant rejections. Familiar to the point that I started feeling content with studying something I never particularly enjoyed just because i was afraid to try again. Afraid to the emotional toll it comes with a rejection letter.

Then who would have thought that an acceptance letter would find its way to me? Something that brought a mixture of joy and sadness upon arrival. Joy because after all that rejections, finally, just finally, all was well again. Sadness because of the sacrifices I know my parents would have to make for me to achieve my dream and also to have to leave a place Ive called home for the past three years.

It took a while, but over the span of 1 1/2 months, Ive came to accept this change that was about to happen in my life and look forward to 5 years in Australia. Who knew all of this would end with another email, stating the withdrawal of the previous acceptance letter and with an ending sentence of ‘Im sorry to give you this disappointing news’? Yeah, you’re sorry. Sorry for turning my life upside down.

Yes, Im familiar with rejections. Im used to doors closing in my face. But with situations where the door opens only to slam shut when you’re already one foot through? Yeah that’s new.

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One thought on “I dont think disappointment even begins to explain this.

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